An Evening of Faith & Friendship

Imagine walking into a large room with twinkling lights laced through tall trees. Women are laughing, hugging, and connecting. They are seated at round tables dressed in white linen, each table crowned with colorful leaves, gourds, jeweled acorns, and flickering candles.

The smell of carmelized onions lingers in the air, inviting women to share in a buffet-style spread of tantalizing appetizers: assorted fall fruits, bagette crostinis with tomato bruchetta, warm onion puffs, shrimp with spicy cocktail sauce, vegetable crudites and tortellini skewers with creamy peppercorn dip (to mention a few of the favorites). The table seems to go on forever, and women fill their plates not only with a bounty of savories and sweets, but throughout the evening they also fill their souls with the satisfying gifts of faith and friendship.

Friends give nourishment of all kinds to one another. We sustain one another. In so many ways we offer to one another the feasts of our friendship. – Madeleine L’Engle

An evening to celebrate friendship may seem "tired" or "old hat." And yet, when we recognize faith-filled friendship as God's greatest dream for his church, the scene never grows old. By design, we meet Christ in one another. And when Christ is in our midst "all things are made new."

The October 5th women's gathering I described above was hosted by Family of Christ Lutheran Church--the church I have the privilege of calling "home." Singer/songwriter Carol Zimmerman tickled women's funny bones with her song "Espresso Yourself" and touched their hearts with one of her new pieces about "Girlfriends." And I had the rare privelege of being the guest speaker.

The topic was "Five Friends Every Woman Needs." Through stories, laughter, and a little fun with shoes, I shared with 130 women how each of us wears special qualities in friendship that nurture faith. Through the ordinary, simple, life-giving ways that we walk with each other, we reveal the wise, compassionate, funny, inviting, soul-loving face of God.

If you're looking for a theme for your next women's gathering. . . why not invite women to walk together in new ways? We all need a rich harvest of friends for the journey!

Talk, Tarts & Tea -- A special thank you!

A group of women from Christ United Methodist Church in Algonquin, IL were proud winners of our book club blitz! Sally delivered this beautiful basket of goodies as a prize!

Special thanks to the women of Christ United Methodist Church! I enjoyed an afternoon of talk, tarts, and tea with all of you. It struck me as strange, serendipitous, and symbolic that – as I shared The Art of Growing Spiritual Friends with all of you – Cheri was sharing the same message with a group of women in Minnesota.

Gathering with God, women who love Him and who love each other is a powerful thing. As we laughed, shared stories and cookies, we – unaware – fulfilled one of Christ’s commands:

A new commandment I give to you that you love one another as I have loved you. By this shall all know that you are my disciples if you have love for each other.

What could be more powerful than that?

So often, I fear, we expect God to move in demonstrative, spectacular, undeniable ways: in galactic blasts, victorious battles, sonorous shouts, spectacular second comings. I think He’s more apt to show up in simple, daily, organic circles, though. He comes in sunsets and mangers, unexpected deaths and adoptions, families and friendships.


Circle of Friends

Like a pebble in a pond
Plopping ordinarily
Producing a circle

Friends gather

Organically another
Ring rounds
Expanding growing

Friends gather

Simple bands
Tribes, nations
Concentric and connected

Friends gather

In unexpected
God-ordained patterns
Revolving around a plop of Love

The Five Friends Every Woman Needs -- A Quiz

Many of you have been asking us to reprint the fun-filled "Five Friends Quiz" that we wrote, the same one featured in a recent issue of Today's Christian Woman. So, here it is again Ladies! Email it to a friend, or print it out to share with your favorite circle of women! (For large group use, please check the copyright info at end of the quiz).

Celebrate five unique styles of friendship! Take this ten-question quiz and explore how the qualities you wear (like a favorite pair of shoes) can nurture the faith of your friends. Circle one answer for each question. But if you find yourself torn between two answers, go ahead and circle both. Instructions for compiling your friendship portrait can be found at the end of the test. Portrait descriptions are in green.


1) Do you tend to be more:

a) prayerful and faith-filled

b) hilarious and playful

c) loyal and compassionate

d) creative and inviting

e) wise and perceptive


2) A television show you’d most likely watch:

a) Touched by an Angel

b) Last Comic Standing

c) A Hallmark made-for-TV movie

d) The Art of French Cooking with Julia Childs

e) Dr. Phil


3) At a party, do you....

a) gently redirect a gossipy conversation

b) show up in costume

c) help remove a punch stain from a friend’s dress

d) bring hand-dipped candles as a hostess gift

e) break out the mini-book ‘If...’: Questions for the Game of Life



4) Which famous person is most like you?

a) Beth Moore (writer of in-depth bible studies)

b) Lucille Ball

c) Lady Di

d) Martha Stewart

e) Ann Landers


5) What might you be overheard saying?

a) “How can I pray for you?”

b) “Why did the chicken cross the road?”

c) “You go, girl ”

d) “Can I borrow your bundt pan?”

e) “Now, the tornado in your dream means...”




6) What activity would you most enjoy? (focus on the activity more than the holiday)

a) Encouraging your family to thank God on Thanksgiving

b) Spraying Silly String everywhere for someone’s Birthday

c) Delivering homemade cards to the senior center on Valentines Day

d) Baking 10 varieties of cookies for friends and family at Christmas

e) Reflecting on the past year and setting new goals for the New Year


7) What your friends might say about you:

a) “She sees me through God’s eyes.”

b) “She makes me laugh so hard I pee my pants.”

c) “When I feel bad, she cries too.”

d) “I’m at home when I’m with her.”

e) “She knows me better than I know myself.”


8) If you were a children’s book, what would your title be?

a) The Velveteen Rabbit

b) Cat in the Hat

c) The Giving Tree

d) Little House on the Prairie

e) The Secret Garden


9) How you might spend a Saturday afternoon:

a) calling your prayer chain

b) doing a high ropes course with a friend

c) serving at a soup kitchen

d) planning the neighborhood block party

e) writing in your journal


10) Your motto in life:

a) It is well with my soul

b) Laughter is the best medicine

c) A friend in need is a friend indeed

d) Home is where the heart is

e) Those who seek will find


Finding your Style of Friendship:

Tally your number of a, b, c, d and e answers below. Your friendship profile is based on your two highest scores. Read the corresponding descriptions for both of those letters. You will be a combination of the two different portraits.
a__ b__ c__ d__ e__


The Five Friends Portraits:


(a)Soul Sister

You are a prayerful and faith-filled friend. By your example and encouragement, friends grow in their own faith journeys. You avoid coming off as “holier than thou” because you are honest and transparent about your own life. Friends come to you for spiritual guidance and prayer, knowing your concern for them is rooted in God’s love. At times you may grow weary of always being the anchor in your circle of friends. They are blessed by your spirit of strength.


(b) Playmate

You have a knack for finding humor in the ordinary. Friends call you when they need a good laugh. You spark up any gathering with your witty comments and prankster personality. Because you are a sensitive soul, it may be hard for you to trust others with deep feelings. Your sense of adventure inspires people to do things they might not otherwise do. The way you help others play is a gift. You truly understand that laughter is the best medicine.


(c) Midwife

You are a compassionate and generous friend. Others feel comfortable coming to you when they need a helping hand or a shoulder to cry on. Patience and understanding come naturally to you. You are sentimental and sincere. At times you may feel depleted because you give so freely from your time and resources. You have the heart of a servant, and know intuitively how to nurture those in need.

(d) Hostess

You are creative, fun, and often the bearer of tidings. Others feel at home in your presence. You know how to celebrate your friends, and cherish creating new traditions with them. You have a gift for seeing how ordinary things (candles, quilts, photographs, meals, letters) can reflect spiritual realities. It can be easy for you to get stuck in high gear, unable to find some solitude. Friends appreciate your creativity, and often look to you to coordinate the next meaningful party.


(e) Therapist

You are wise and perceptive friend, obsessed with finding meaning in life. You have valuable insights that others might miss on their own. People cherish your perspective on life and love, and often come to you for advice. Friends may need to remind you of your tendency to over- analyze. Journaling, reading and reflecting help strengthen your gifts of wisdom and intuition. Your friends benefit because you often know them better than they know themselves.

"Friends give nourishment of all kinds to one another.
We sustain one another. In so many ways we offer to one another
the feasts of our friendship." – Madeleine L’Engle

© The Five Friends Quiz, Miller & Mueller, 2006

Feel free to print out this quiz and share it with some friends. Why not have some girlfriends over for tea, and take the quiz together? If you'd like to copy the quiz for large group gatherings, however, we simply ask that you contact us for permission. Thank you! (cmueller@mchsi.com)

ANNOUNCING. . . Book Club Blitz Winners!

Robin Deak from Lake in the Hills, Illinois was the first person to send us a photo of the women in her book club holding copies of Walk With Me: Two Friends on a Spiritual Journey Together!

"We laughed and cried, and really enjoyed this book," she said. "Our group crosses over several generations, and every one of us got something out of it! We loved it!"

Sally will be hand delivering their prize this Saturday, April 28th! She'll also be spending a little time with these amazing women of Christ United Methodist Church (pastored by Reverend Dawn Chesser) speaking about the gifts of friendship.

Congratulations ladies! We are so encouraged to learn of the ways you have been "walking" with each other in faith, recognizing all ground as holy ground.

Check out our article on the Mom-camp website

In this month of February, when LOVE can seem reduced to material for tabloid covers, boxer shorts, schmaltzy cards, and candy hearts, it helps to focus on what women do best: FRIENDSHIP!

For 5 tips on how to celebrate the spiritual side of friendship, visit the mom-camp website to read our article on the subject! www.mom-camp.com/recommend/relationships.htm

"A friend is someone to whom you confess guilt that french fries are a staple on your family's grocery list, and she glady "one-ups" you with a reminder that her kids are on a first name basis with the drive thru attendant at Krispy Kreme." --Sally & Cheri

Knitting as Prayer

A Reflection from Sally

As a stay-at-home mom I’ve found few ways to measure my ‘job success.’ Often at the end of a long grueling day my husband, Bryan, comes home and asks, "What did you do today?" My response more often than not is, "I cleaned half a toilet. The brush is still in it as proof."

Instead of tallying the number of snotty noses I’ve wiped, bed-
time stories I’ve read, and hugs I’ve given, I’ve taken up knitting. Now at the end of the day when Bryan asks his predictable question, I can say, "I’ve knit two inches of that scarf I’m making for Cheri," or "I’m finished the last block in that baby blanket for Julie."

More important than giving a measurable proof of my existence and work, though, knitting has become a spiritual practice of sorts. As I create scarves for my dearest friends, or blankets for their babies, I feel close to them. I honor, love, even pray for them. With each click of my needles and every woven row of yarn, I offer wishes that they’ll be healthy and happy, wrapped in warm.


A Yarn Intercession

The yarn feels good between my fingers
It spins and swirls capably
As if it were weaving itself
Instead of being crafted

I like seeing the skein unwind
On the hardwood floor
Preparing for
Another row of stitches

The creation: a scarf
Grows like a sunflower in my yard
With nurture and joy aiming for sun
Measurably and artfully stretching

My needles click a song of
Hopeful intercession
May she grow in Grace
And Wisdom and Amusement

Rows link increasing in
Patterned purpose
A prayer woven on the
Loom of me

(Photo: Sally's son, Ayden (5) wearing a knitted scarf from Grandma)